Epiphany

     The assignment: Experience an epiphany and blog about it. 

     Note: Epiphany-manifestation of the divine.

     Thought: Really? On a random Tuesday even?

     The conflict: This seems completely impossible, but not completing an assignment seems worse. 

     The Plan: I will illustrate two parts. Part One: What I was thinking would have to happen to complete the 

                    assignment. Part Two: What happened. 

      

                                      Part One:

   I was hoping for God to appear out of a whirlwind or something really dramatic. Not just because that would be so cool to see, but also so I could ask a few simple questions and maybe suggest a few things to him. This is how I picture the entire exchange: 

   There I am arriving home from class. I grab my bag filled with tons of books that were thoughtfully selected by Dr Sexon and my other bag that contains the tiny books for all my other Tuesday/Thursday classes. I am imagining this is happening on a Thursday. You have to be careful on Tuesdays; something like this could break your concentration for the rest of the week; Friday is an easy day. So, as I get ready to walk up the steps to my house a whirlwind appears. It's winter so I really don't pay much attention, until I hear the voice. 

    God: Hey! Where are you going? You do not mean to tell me I went to all this trouble and you are going to snub me?

    Me: Sorry, I did not notice you there. I was deep in thought about this class I just came from.

   God: I know. That is why I did not smite you yet.

   Me: Is that the plan?

   God: We will see how it goes.

  I begin to walk away. 

   God: Where are you going?

   Me: I thought I would attempt to scurry away before I said something stupid and you turned me into some pillar of something.

   God: (chuckling) Okay, I promise I will try not to smite you.

   Me: (slight eye roll) Thanks.

   God: Can we leave this part out in your blog?

   Me:  Nope.(being mindful of the hospitality rules I continue) Hop out of your cyclone and come in for coffee? Mountain Dew maybe? 

   God: Sure; just give me a moment to get out of this thing. I do hate these theatrics. 

   Me: So why bother?

   God: It gets the point across. 

God and I step into my house and he takes the Mountain Dew. Turns out he loves the stuff. They actually have it in heaven and he was kind enough to send the recipe down so he could enjoy it when he travels here. 

    Me: So, what brings you here?

   God: You wanted an epiphany. 

    Me: That's how it works? I just ask and poof a whirlwind?

   God: Nope. I just did not want to hear you sniveling about not being able to finish an assignment for all eternity.

    Me: Thanks. So you don't mind if I ask a few things?

   God: Shoot.

    Me: You know I think it's slightly annoying when people say shoot. 

    God frowns.

    Me: (with a slight panic)  But somehow when you do it, it's just charming. 

   I realize he does not buy this,but is willing to attempt to be patient with me. 

    Me: So, about all this Bible stuff I have been questioning. Is it really necessary to stay married to some jerk who treats you like dirt? Is divorce really that bad? And what about all these priests Roberto says are keeping  people from using condoms? They are getting exposed to HIV.

    God: Sigh. I decided to try something. People were getting divorced willy nilly and it was turning out badly; about like some people do now. People were using the law to get married, but they did not mean it. It was just a way to be with as many people as they wanted but stay within my laws. I put the laws in place to protect them. I wanted people to be able to get out of a bad situation, but they overused the loophole. 

            As for condoms and such. People should obey my laws. However, not everyone does. I would very much rather people protected themselves. I am sure you can understand these things. Think about Dallas; you don't want her to get a divorce just because she does not like the way her husband makes toast. And you don't want her to go have sex before she finds Mr Perfect, but if she does wouldn't you want her to protect herself?

    Me: Of course.

    God: How many times do I have to tell people that I am the creator? The father? The beginning? So why can't people just think of me like that?

    Me: Alright. That helps. 

   God: Good. Anything else?

    Me: Sure; lots. How much of the Bible is true, where is Noah's ark, where is the ark of the covenant, what did the original books say? Do you have a copy I could borrow? That whole Enoch thing-what's the scoop? Is there really a heaven and hell? Did you use fractal geometry to create the universe? 

    God: Wow, you ask a lot of questions. 

    Me: I am a bit curious by nature. 

    God: A bit. (laughs) These are things that do not truly matter. Search your heart for the answers. 

    Me: Classified huh?

   God: Yep. 

    Me: Fine. For now; but do I get to find out after I am dead? 

   God: Maybe. 

    Me: Uh huh. Well, since you won't answer my questions, will you at least do something about my immune system. I am beginning to feel a bit like Job. And about my back; all these books are killing me.

   God: Yeah, like I can do that. 

    Me: You are God. 

   God: Look here, I am not going to throw off the balance of the universe so you can have a better life. Deal with it. You appreciate things better if they disappear once in a while. 

    Me: Like my health, freedom, contact with everyone outside these walls, and my will to live. 

   God: Yep. 

    Me: Sigh. Okay, well then, would you mind if I suggested a couple things?

    God: This should be good. 

   Me: First of all, fine, if you have to have germs, viruses, disease, fine, but reduce it. Crime is bad too. Maybe give people more of a conscious. And if you could give me a talent for writing and a great idea so I could share this wonderful thought with the world I would appreciate that. And if I were better at math, I could try to combine math and literature and make everyone happier. 

    God: Wow. You didn't add world peace. 

   Me: Oops, I meant to. 

    God: (huge eye roll) First of all, if I did all that the place would go to hell in a hand basket. You people need things to work on. That was my mistake with the Garden of Eden. People get bored and make trouble. You remember when Dallas was five She got bored and cut her hair and just about everything else in your mom's sewing room while your dad napped. And if you want to share some grand idea find it yourself. I am busy working on ideas of my own. 

   Me: So, if you are not going to help me out, and if you won't answer my questions, why are you here drinking my Dew?

   God: Cause you asked for it. Look to the Bible for answers, but don't take it so seriously. That Frye fellow had it right. Don't read the surface. Figure out what is underneath. It will keep you busy and out of my hair. 

  Me: Okay, thanks. 

  God: Got any more Dew?

   Me: Nope, you drank them all. 

  God: Okay, I'm out. 

   God begins to fade out; like in the old Star Trek transporter scenes, but with more sparkles. 

  Me: I still say you need to work on the whole world peace thing. 

  Lightning strikes. I take this as a no, since I have not often seen lightening in November. 

                      Part Two

    Okay, so God did not appear to me. However, I have learned some amazing things throughout this semester. I am going to say that the closest thing to an epiphany came from reading the first few lines of John. I like the idea that God is language and language is God. Everything is created by the Word. I have often thought about the power of words, but this was even bigger. 

    Then, I started thinking about fractals. God is the alpha and omega, the beginning and end the largest and smallest. Look at Mandlebrot's work; this is sort of what he describes. A fractal looks the same when you zoom out or in. Somewhere a combination of words and fractals could be the key to it all. Maybe not quite an epiphany, if I could find that mix then I could have an epiphany. Maybe this is not it at all. What do I know? I could be fractally wrong. (See photo below)

  

  

   

    

     

     

     

God, Math, and Believing In A Higher Power

     I know some of  the class will not read this post, as I put the dreaded M word in the title. I'm not really sure why it is that people who really love Literature tend to despise Math, but it seems to be a trend. I actually enjoy Math; I have made it from Pre-algebra to Survey of Calc at MSU  (a moment of silence while everyone gasps and clutches their hearts).
     Really, there is a lot of Math in Literature. Think about the Bible; there are numbers everywhere in it. There is an entire book called Numbers. Stick with me for a few minutes and I will show you why Math+Bible=Really Cool Stuff. Yes, here "cool stuff" is a technical term. I swear I will not ask you to compute anything and as a bonus, I will add cool pictures at the end.
     According to the Bible, as you know, in the beginning God was talking to himself a lot (Genesis). If you look in the New Testament in the Gospel According to Saint John you will find the first line is, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God" (John 1:1-2). If you have not read it but it looks familiar, check out the cover of your Bible. So, there was the word and there was God, and He starts talking away and as He talks he creates things. What language do you suppose He was speaking? Do you think maybe it could have been something everyone could understand? I was thinking about this when I remembered something I learned a while back.....
     Be brave; this is where the Math comes in. I have heard people say many times (usually in the Math department) that God speaks Math. I know, you are thinking "Big deal; people say a lot of things"; at least that is what I thought at the time. Last year, I watched a documentary about fractals. It seems that a Mathematician named Mandelbrot (November 20 1924-October 14 2010 source: wiki) discovered something new. He found a way to explain many things in nature and a way to measure what had been seen as nearly impossible. This man started the study of fractal geometry.
    Fractal geometry explains, among many other things, patterns in nature. From watching Fractals: Hunting the Hidden Dimension I learned that even trees have exacting patterns. This also seems to apply to entire forests. Other applications are in measuring coastlines (who knew there was such a problem), and in medicine. The human body is full of fractals! This is huge for medicine, scientists are working with mathematicians to discover and hopefully someday fix the patterns in the human body. For example, a tumor has a fractal structure, but a cancerous one is a mess, like a big ball of yarn after a cat fight. I won't get into all the details of the math, but really if you watch the documentary I think you might be pleasantly surprised. I guarantee you will never look at a tree the same way again.
    What does this have to do with the Bible? Everything! These fractals are actually being used by some to show that there was a creator. The believe is that this absolute pattern shows a designer. If there is a creator god, then he was designing with math. Sounds good to me, usually people who build important things tend to plan and measure a lot. There is a lot of math to it. When I build something I hardly measure, it usually falls apart, and I have someone else do it. Yes, I like doing math, just not applying it; I'll work on that another day. So, maybe God did not speak Math, but he must have used a lot of it. Math is actually just a language that explains how things work. (Don't ask about the Language of Math class; it was the only one I could not understand).The evidence of the same pattern in everything does seem interesting. Like maybe there could be a creator.
      This thought makes me feel a bit better. Reading the Bible, I cannot say I agree with everything. I really thought the New Testament would make me feel more accepting of the Christian religion; it has not. Considering all the controversy that goes on with organized religions I am not sure I want to gamble my soul,assuming I have one, on any of them. I do enjoy the Bible, and I think it has a lot to tell us. What great literature does not? But for an actual lawful guide to life; maybe not so much. However, I still think believing in something bigger than oneself is a very comforting and healthy thing. So, here is my evidence of a creator. I'm not sure of all the stories that go with it,  I think I would have to take more math for that...
      As promised, here are some fractal pictures. What you were expecting equations? (scroll down)

  








  

Judas, Redactors, and Non-Biblical wanderings

   As I was the New Testament, I wondered if Judas was really the traitor history has portrayed, or if he was actually helping Jesus. Okay, I know it sounds a bit odd. Really, I thought that Peter's actions were worse. Yes, I have the characters straight. Peter denied Jesus 3 times, Judas turned Jesus in to the soldiers which led to his death. Knowing that all the books did not make it into the Bible, I decided to dig a bit. Since I am sick (yes again; that whole curse God and die thing had to have been pretty tempting to Job), I decided to check out Netflix and there is was: National Geographic: The Gospel of Judas. This is an interesting documentary about how the gospel was found and the work that has taken place. It turns out that this story makes Judas into the good guy; the favored one.
  So, why is it left out of the canon? It was labeled as heresy during a time when Christians were being used as gory entertainment for the Romans. One of the most interesting parts of this documentary, for me, was learning more about the redactor. Can you imagine having to make the choice about what is and is not allowed to be in the Bible? People sacrifice their lives for their religion. As the film points out, he had to make it clear what they were giving their lives for. Redactors, I am beginning to see you in a better light. Maybe you were not all out to only accomplish your own questionable agenda. Some may have actually been trying to strengthen people's faith and give them a better idea of what is important to their religion. This does not mean I completely agree with them. I would really like to see every story that was omitted from the canon.
   The gospel of Judas was nearly destroyed by placing it in a bank vault in the 1990's. How many other books have been destroyed? I have come to the conclusion that this is just part of what happens with the Bible. So many people have translated, added, subtracted, and twisted this one book or library of books depending on how you look at it. There has been so much living and dying over these words and these questions. I am completely fascinated by it. The journey this one book has led me on just over the course of a few months is amazing. Of course, many books have led me to read others and have caught my interest and taught me things beyond their pages, but not like this. My curiosity is at an all time high. When I am feeling better, I plan to do more research into the other books. I can't wait to see where the Bible leads me next.

Looking back and forward and around me -or- what I like about the Bible

      If you have read my past blog entries then you know I do not agree with a lot of the ideas that are put forth, I got really sick of the violence, and at one point I was just plain disappointed. Having had a few days to step away from reading the Bible and having the weight of the assignment lifted off my shoulders, I feel I have gained a new perspective. This is my list of things I really like about reading the Bible (in random order):

• I love that God and the Word all sort of came from each other, yet are one, and that it/they formed everything.
• I really appreciated that God chose the last person anyone would have picked as the hero to complete his tasks. 
• The fact that people were able to talk back to God and even have him change his mind was great. 
• Just knowing that people have studied, changed, and built their worlds around this text is very interesting. How many other books are like this? I don't remember anyone changing Moby Dick and calling it the original and getting away with it. Quoting it or borrowing from it, yes, but saying it is still the same book would not be accepted. 
• There are many surprises in the Bible. From images of unicorns to Jesus not coming to bring peace as I had always heard, this was not the book I expected. 
• I knew full well that I had not read the Bible. I found a copy one of my best friends in high school gave me that I had read bits and parts of. The funny thing was that I did not remember having it much less reading parts. The thing is, I had a sort of arrogant preconception that I actually knew a few things that were in the Bible. When I got to the parts I thought I knew, I was just as clueless as I was about parts I had never heard of. 
• In doing a project for another class that concerns banned books, I realized that the author's use of disturbing images was necessary. If the author of The Giver had not included the image of the baby dying and of the young girl committing suicide, the lesson would have been watered down and lost. It is the same with The Bible. No one really wants to think about babies having their heads smashed against rocks, or someone's firstborn son being killed, but it leaves a powerful message.
• The Bible can lead readers on paths beyond its covers. I, for example, started wondering about Enoch and I found a book that was not included in the canon. Reading The Book of Enoch (the part I allotted time for) gave me an entirely new perspective on Genesis. 
• I think I may now be able to experience other literature in an entirely new light. Just as Enoch shed light on the story of the flood, the Bible has given me a new perspective on The Byrds. (Just one example)
• I like that there are books in the Bible that are so completely unexpected and seemingly out of place. The first few books seem to follow a path, but then you get to something out of the blue like Song of Solomon or Ruth or Revelations that just don't seem like the others. 
• Reading The Bible brought up so many thoughts and feelings that I had to sort out. There is so much in our culture and in my family that comes from this book that when I had to look at the actual text and the misconceptions it really was interesting, but it was also disturbing at times. 

  I could go on with my list, but for now, I will stop there. The first day of class I seriously considered dropping. Now, I am glad I didn't. I really thought I should read the Bible, but I doubt I would have. So even if I did miss a few details with my quick reading I still feel that it was completely worth my time. Truly, I can't wait to start reading it again at a much slower pace.

The Sleeping Beauty Moment

     

      I have missed a few classes, so please forgive me if this has already been noted.
     As I was reading Luke 8:52 I noticed something familiar. In case you have not read it, or have forgotten, it says, "And all wept, and bewailed her: but he said, "Weep not, she is not dead, but sleepeth".
    Remember The Sleeping Beauty In the Woods? The last fairy says, "...instead of dying, she shall only fall into a deep sleep" (Perrault). Another version I read as a child said something closer to "she is not dead, she only sleeps". If you really really really need a source for this one, I will call and bother my 82 year old Mother and ask her if she still has the book that has probably been passed down by now. Better yet, I will give you her number. While you are speaking with her, please explain to her why I am studying Literature instead of Economics.
    Isn't that exciting or at least interesting that those words are used in both stories? I mean, we all thought it was great when Shakespeare plagiarized The Bible. So, humor me for a moment. Actually, I am not sure why I find this interesting; I just do. There you have it.
   To make up for my ramblings I will leave you with my favorite quote from Sleeping Beauty, "...for where there is much love there is little eloquence"(Perrault).

I finished it, but I'm not done with it.

   I finished reading the Bible. I really do not suggest reading it this quickly. When just trying to get to the end, I became impatient. The parts with repetition like the refrain of a song became monotonous instead of reinforcement of an idea or situation. The language became an obstacle instead of a melody. I truly wish I were still back in the Old Testament enjoying what this majestic work has has offer. I know there were parts I did not pay enough attention to given that my goal was to finish and not to savor the book. There is so much in the Bible, it is difficult enough to keep everything in order when reading it at a reasonable pace. I wonder now how much I have missed.
   Knowing this was the case, that I was not reading the book in the best possible way, why did I go on? It's simple; it was assigned and it was a challenge. I have never failed to complete an assignment, even through the great personal physical and emotional pain I have endured in the last few years. I could not just fail now; the task had to be completed.
   I do not have regret for my action; just a bit of disappointment that I was not able to allow more time for the book. I feel that I learned quite a bit about the Bible and about myself during this reading. In addition, this is not the only opportunity I have to see what this book has to offer. I own a copy; to not look at it more than once would be like having a Monet hanging in my living room and only glancing at it one time. So, I did finish reading the Bible once, but I am not finished reading the Bible.

The New Testament --or--I dwell in the land of disappointment

 

  Maybe I was hoping for a shinier happier version of the Old Testament or at least something more familiar. Either way I was wrong about what I would find. Okay, so there are some good things in Matthew. Jesus tells them that is not what they eat but what they say and believe that matters; I am all for that one. (Let them eat cheeseburgers) And I like that there is a lot of healing going on instead of war (I am sure this will not last long). Anyway, here are a few quotes that did not play into my shiny happy version of Jesus:

"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother........" Matthew 10:34-39

"Verily I say unto you, that a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God" 19:23-24. This seems a bit narrow minded when recalling that Job was very rich and successful. Besides, there goes any hope of a good windows based computer program in heaven. And think of it-no Google.

   Then there is the griping about divorce. Honestly, this is what kept good people in bad or dangerous marriages. This bit of camel dung keeps people feeling guilty from the time he spouted it until the present. It does seem that people are finally getting over it. Let's hope.

  Additionally, I just honestly do not like the way Jesus speaks to his followers. You can hear the eye roll as he says for the millionth time, "Oh ye of little faith". Mostly, they are trying to follow the teachings they were given before. They are attempting to be faithful. Instead of teaching them a new way by pointing out the new rules he gets his pompous attitude and acts as if they should know better. Personally, I would have ditched him.

  I am hoping to get through Acts today (at least). Wish me luck.


Frazer quote for today comes from page 446:

"The most probable answer seems to be that the chiming of the holy bells was thought to drive far off the envious and wicked spirits who lurked abut the door of the sanctuary, ready to pounce on and carry off the richly apparelled minister as he stepped across the threshold in the discharge of his sacred office. "