I am not sure exactly what to do about Christmas after having actually read the Bible. I was given the Hallmark version of the story of the Nativity and Jesus' ideas and works. It turns out that in reality there was no Jesus who brought peace. The benevolent God I grew up knowing had nothing to do with the Bible. The great protector who watched over me personally that made my feelings swing wildly from safe and free from worry to almost paranoid and trapped in a bubble. What am I celebrating exactly? The peaceful and loving holiday of my childhood that celebrates the birth of the supposed savior, the commercialized over-spending crowd gathering orgy of capitalism, or the birth of the son of God who came to rip apart everyone's beliefs and change their values? Honestly, after actually reading the Bible, I can see why many have given up Jesus for Santa. I am so going to hell for this one; oh well, if this blog is the only reason I am cast into the pit it would be a Christmas miracle. It's amazing that I actually believed or at least tried to believe in the ideas of a book I never even read. I guess it just seems that you sort of absorb the information from society and then get an arrogant idea that you know something. I don't know; I guess I just always kind of went on what little knowledge I had combined with a gut feeling. Now, after reading it, now what? I mean, I think it is essential to believe in something higher. I am just not sure that I am being honest with myself to say I am a Christian. Yet not to say that seems wrong as well. So I guess I will take this holiday to ponder the meaning of all this and search my heart. The answer is probably there somewhere. I could always just blame the redactor for not being able to reconcile my early beliefs with the book. (yes I am joking). I guess for now I will leave it at-----
Happy Holidays Everyone!!!!
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